A few years ago this Rolex was the hot item of the year:

Rolex Oyster Perpetual Date GMT-Master II Mens Watch 116710-BKSO

And to me it’s not hard to see why.  This model introduced a lot of innovations that were long overdue.  First being a clasp that actually felt as though it were not made of tin foil, polished center links, and most importantly, a ceramic bezel.  Ceramic being much harder than stainless steel, its ability to resist scratches was much better than steel and thus the watch looked new even over time.

Now I love Omega, but the truth is that Omega is usually considered as a cheaper alternative to a Rolex, a Hamburger in a land of steaks.

I, however, think that is a reputation that is undeserved, I tend to consider Omega somewhat similarly to a Japanese car company, they take ideas and improve them in a more practical and more affordable package.  Their co-axial movement increased the service intervals of a mechanical watch, their dept ratings are higher, and they have helium escape valves on almost all of their diving watches (even though they may never be needed.)

I, to this day, consider my old Omega Seamaster the most comfortable watch I’ve ever owned.

And now, they’ve come up with something even better than the Rolex offered, and here it is:

Being a limited edition of the fairly new Omega Seamaster Planet Ocean, the bezel takes the idea of the ceramic bezel in the Rolex to a new level.  Using a combination of what they call “Liquidmetal” and ceramic they made this new diving bezel that is supposed to be three times as hard and corrosion resistant as steel.

Yes it is another limited edition to commerate something silly, such as a staff member’s birthday, but I think this idea is ingenious, although its influence may be a little bit too obvious.

I just (of questionable legality) watched the very first of episode of season (or series as they call it in the UK) 13 of my favorite show Top Gear and it looks as though presenter Richard Hammond has got himself a 16610 Rolex Submariner, the same type that James Bond used to wear of of which has seen the light of day on television and movies for decades.  My God, what an episode!

Good choice Richard!

What I like about Rolex is that they never seem to shamelessly cater to the idiots out there.  They know that no matter what they do and what disasters may encounter this world, they will turn out alright.  If the rich people of a capitalist nation gets overthrow, the new dictators will gladly pick up the slack.  Rolex watches have been the staple in luxury watches and a household name.

You have heard me rant about the endless stream of limited edition watches and logoed watches that other companies make in the hopes of making money.  Omega, for example, makes a new limited edition watch every couple days, and while I was just typing that sentence, a dozen new limited editions came out while I was doing that.  But believe me when I say that when Rolex comes out with a special edition whatever, it really is to mark an occasion.

And what occasion is more special to Rolex than the 50th Anniversary of their iconic Rolex Submariner:

Rolex Oyster Perpetual Submariner Date Steel Mens Watch 50th Anniversary Edition 16610LV

To be honest, in my lifetime I can’t really remember a Rolex limited edition, and 50 years of an icon is certainly something to celebrate.  This watch is just like the standard Submariner date except with the obvious change from the black bezel to the green bezel, but some other subtle changes are on it as well, such as the addition of larger markers on the dial.

The only probably with this Submariner is that there doesn’t seem to be any limit to its production.  Where I concede that Omega and the lot come out with a lot of limited edition wathes, they actually go about LIMITING their production, but with this Submariner I can find this Submariner everywhere I go.

One thing that I absolutely hate about many watch fanatics is our insistence on keeping around the old, our insistence on the idea that what watchmakers have done decades ago is still supreme, and our insistence to remain unchanged on our viewpoints.

We still wear watches with unnecessarily complicated and cumbersome mechanical movements,  we still wear watches whose basic design hasn’t changed for decades, and for no reason I can think of, we still hail the dull watch designs of Patek Philippe as the holy grail of watchmaking.  (That dullness, by the way, comes at a hefty price):

Patek Philippe Calatrava Men’s Manual Wind Watch 18K Yellow Gold Off White Dial on Brown Crocodile Strap 5196J

To me, most watch enthusiasts are like those annoying neighborhood association idiots who “preserve” the goodness of your community by suing you if you should happen to do something out of the ordinary.  They tell you how you should mow your lawn, they scold you for having an ugly car parked outside your house, and they freak out if your house color is anything outside of the usual shades of beige or brick red.

Yup, watch enthusiasts tend to be hopelessly traditional when it comes to watches, but it’s funny because they are usually quite progressive when it comes to other stuff.  They seem to enjoy fast and impractical cars, they are HUGE fans of consumer electronics, they like modern design, and they generally care for the finer things in life.

So why is it that when it comes to watches, we are so boneheaded?

Well, when it comes to newer watch companies, making outrageous watches is alright, because no one really cares.  Similarly, if you are a company known for making unique watches, such as Seiko, that’s alright too, because it fits the character.

But when one of the good old boys suddenly breaks out the stonewashed jeans, buys a Lamborghini, and goes insane, it’s not quite so well-received…

Truer words have never been spoken when it comes to the Zenith watch company.  You see as a company, they’ve been around just as long as all the other watch dinosaurs.  Their movements, furthermore, are held in such high regard that even Rolex used one of their movements for their flagship Daytona model.  And yes, they are one of the few Swiss watch companies that DO make their own movements.

For years they have been making excellent watches that never offended anyone.  Watches just like this beautiful Class T El Primero:

Zenith Class T El Primero Automatic Mens’ Watch Stainless Steel Black Dial on Black Strap 03.0510.4002/21.c492

But lately something at Zenith has changed.  Some say that the management has gone bonkers, but I think they have gone a step in the right direction, with this:

Zenith Defy Xtreme Chronograph – 96.0525.4000/21.M525 Gents Watch

Zenith calls this series the “Defy,” and DEFY is certainly what it does.  Some say good taste, some say the company’s reputation, but I think what they have done is defied the stupid watch conventions that have existed for decades.  The things that we always wanted to change, but never have because we were too afraid of how we’d look.

I think that what Zenith has done is found the balls to transform one of the pillars of the watch world and helped to shift the industry to the 21st century.  I think it proves that old dogs can learn new tricks, and I think it is refreshing to see a watch company design a watch that looks like it was designed in this decade.

Instead of its expensive price tag being attributed to gold, diamonds, and all the usual “luxury” stuff, the Defy is chalk full of space-age materials like carbon fiber, aluminum, and titanium.  In other words, a very modern lot of luxury materials.

And it seems that Rolex has finally branched out a little as well, especially with the introduction of the Yacht-Master II, the biggest watch they’ve ever built:

Rolex Oyster Perpetual Yacht-Master II Mens Watch 116689-WAO

Not particularly well-received, the Yachtmaster faces the same problem as the new Zenith Defy.  It is basically an extremely off-the-path design from a company known for making conventional non-offensive luxury watches for the masses.  (The fact that it has a countdown timer no one outside the yachting world would every use doesn’t help its case either).

No I’m afraid that it seems as though there will still be some time before the sourpusses take off their boring 20th century watches, and start adopting one of the modern designs built for the decade, but I personally can’t wait for the day when I see more variety on people’s wrists.

A great many decades ago within the pristine mountains of Switzerland, a group of people from a group of Swiss cantons, or “states” if you prefer, took some time out of their fondue breaks and eventually formed a group that would be known as Contrôle Officiel Suisse des Chronomètres.

The ultimate goal of the Contrôle Officiel Suisse des Chronomètres, or C.O.S.C. for short, was to set a standard in the Swiss watch industry by subjecting the finest Swiss timepieces to a series of accuracy and durability tests. If a watch submitted to the COSC met their rigorous standards, the manufacturer could officially label the watch as a “Chronometer” and allow it to leave Switzerland with the nation’s honor intact.

You may not have heard of the organization, but if you have ever looked at the dial of a Rolex and wondered what “Superlative Chronometer” and “Officially Certified,” means, now you know:

Rolex Oyster Perpetual Sea Dweller 4000 Mens Watch 16600-BSO

The simple fact is that the only reason why COSC certification is held in such high regard is because ROLEX sends almost all of their watches to COSC, and that ALL of the popular Rolex models carry this certification. Out of the three major facilities of the COSC, TWO devote themselves almost entirely to Rolex movements.

The truth, however, is that on the whole less than 5% of all Swiss watches produced in any given year even bother getting this certification.

Why?

Because it is simply NOT necessary. Manufacturer’s own internal tests and standards tend to be just as good, if not better than COSC, so they don’t bother with the cost and the hassle.

What good is a certification anyway if many of the biggest and most respected watchmakers in the world, watchmakers such as A. Lange & Sohne, Breguet, IWC, and one of my favorites, Jaeger Le-Coultre, don’t even bother with it?

In the opinion of your humble presenter, the only reason other non-Rolex watches get “certified” in the first place is because they try to compete with Rolex by saying that because their watch passed the same kind of certification as a ROLEX, it must be just as good.

The best I could figure out though is that COSC certification is only used to offer uneducated turkeys, with a little money in his pocket mind you, some element of peace of mind. And believe me, I’ve heard the sales pitch before:

Basically some normal guy, who would normally buy his watches at Target, walks into a watch store and is duped into thinking that COSC is this magical Swiss agency that gives watches the gold standard and that all watches not certified by them must be junk.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a HUGE Rolex fan, but if you are new to luxury wristwatches I implore you to not to let this useless certification be a factor in making your choice. The COSC certification, in the opinion of your humble presenter, does mean something, but it is by no means the gold standard in the watch industry that many claim it to be, and most watches as just as good.

Whilst watching the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, did you ever notice how all of the timing stuff is done by Omega?

Similarly, did you know that an Omega was the very first wristwatch worn on the moon?

I did, it was this one in fact:

3570.50 Speedmaster Mens Stainless Steel Watch

These Olympics Games will actually mark the 23rd time Omega has been the official timekeeper for the Olympic Games, and ever since 1932 Omega has pioneered and innovated the world of sports timing ever since.  That’s more than any other watchmaker in history, and that is a remarkable achievement.

…or is it?

You see if you look at the history of Olympic timing and the development of things like the “Moonwatch,” you will notice a history focused on precision, perfection, durability, and reliability.  The really are fantastic timing instruments and exactly what a watch should be, but to be honest, I really couldn’t care less.

Because in the long and short of it, while Omega tries to be cool, and may currently have James Bond and Michael Phelps spouting its latest euro-chic incarnation, the spectacular Omega Planet Ocean:

Omega Seamaster Planet Ocean – 2201.50.00 Gents Watch

… it cannot escape the fundamental fact that Omega watches are watches built for nerds.

I’ll give you a perfect example:

When man landed on the moon with the Omega “Moonwatch” on their wrists, a bunch of nerdy men with big glasses, and pocket protectors, and Omega watches no less, basically took a very complex math problem and solved it.  There’s no denying that it was a remarkable achievement, but it is a little too cold and calculating to be very exciting for me.

When Sir Edmund Hillary first reached the top of Mount Everest, in contrast, with a ROLEX on his wrist, he was part of a group of men that braved conditions most unfriendly to the human body to achieve a vast unknown.  Obviously there was also some planning involved to it, but there were no calculators and certainly no pocket protectors.  They just saw a peak and decided to go there.  They didn’t just sit around in a rocket-propelled tuna can waiting to play around in some moon sand.

Perhaps I’m being a little too harsh, but the way I feel about Omega and the Olympics is not going to be all that better.

In general, I think the only reason we watch the Olympics is because they don’t come around that often and it instills within us a sense of national pride.  But do we really care about these obscure athletes in these obscure sports that we otherwise would not care to watch?

I don’t…

When I heard that Omega would be sponsoring the Olympics again, it came as no big surprise, but again, it is all a little too calculating.  The Olympics are about the best in the world coming together to compete.  It’s a world where .001 of a second could mean the difference between the Gold and the Silver.  It’s an environment where precision and accuracy rule and a world where athletes are more national precision instruments rather than people you can truly care for.

I just don’t dig that.

Rolex, in contrast, sponsor events like Wimbledon.  Events in which timing isn’t even necessary.  All you care about your favorite tennis player utterly vanquishing his foes.  It’s not a victory over a machine or a country’s atheletic representitive, it is a victory over a person, it is a victory you can salivate, and it is a victory you can truly FEEL.

I hate to say it, but when I think about Omega watches I think of brilliant timepieces for people who use to be nerdy kids and are currently nerdy adults.  The back of my mind is always thinking big glasses, short-sleeved dress shirts, pocket protectors, and office chairs.

When I think of the one I use to have, I knew that it wasn’t right from the very beginning, even though it has never let me down.

No, I’ll always be a Rolex man that’s for sure.  For me Rolex inspires a fire within me like no other.  They may not be perfect, but perfect, I find, can be rather boring.

I don’t like watches with corporate logos on them.  I think they are pretty stupid.  If it were something like a mickey mouse watch that made Timex so popular, or something cheap, that would be perfectly fine with me.  But on luxury timepieces, I just don’t think they work.

Take for example, this Rolex:

No this is not a bad fake, this was an actual Rolex that Domino’s pizza commissioned for its highest ranking franchise owners, because of its rarity it is somewhat of a collector’s item, but I feel I have to ask the obvious:

Why, oh why?!?!

This watch looks so so stupid.  It looks as though it could be purchased at some sort of Domino’s gift shop while waiting for your pizza and buffalo wings.

Luckily, by the grace of whomever you pray to, Rolex no longer allows this kind of altering of their dials, and I approve that decision whole heartily.  I don’t think I would wear that Rolex  if I had a gun pointed to my head, but on the upside, if someone mugged you, I think the mugger would probably give your watch back because he would be shocked at the horror.

When it comes to logos on luxury watches nothing is more common than cars logos.  Because if you think about it, luxury cars and luxury watches go together like cheese and wine.  They both go way beyond the practical, and both owners of luxury cars and luxury watches spend those huge sums of money because they love them and they feel a passion for them.

However, no one that I am aware of has ever made a cheese-flavored wine or a wine-flavored cheese.  Why? Because the two, whilst excellent in itself, are better apart than together.  I feel the same way about watches and cars.  The two manufacturer’s should keep away from each other.  It’s alright for watch manufacturer’s to make clocks in luxury cars, I actually quite like that, but putting car logos on watches is so silly, and here’s why:

Let’s start with two watches that have done it right:

Panerai Ferrari Granturismo Automatic Mens’ Watch Automatic Stainless Steel Black Dial on Black Strap FER00002

And THIS:

IWC Ingenieur Chronograph AMG Titanium Black Dial Men’s Watch

These two watches, The Panerai Ferrari Granturismo, and the IWC Ingenieur AMG (for the Mercedes AMG cars), are exquisite, and while both watch manufacturers are technically Swiss , Panerai has always been traditionally Italian just as IWC resides in the most northern part of Switzerland and embodies largely German traditions.  I like these watches a lot as they embody the characters of the cars quite well.

The Panerai is a brilliant watch just as a Ferrari is a brilliant car, but it is also stylish and looks as though it could have only been thought of by the fashion-crazy Italians.  Similarly, the IWC Ingenieur AMG is a brilliant watch just as the AMG line of Mercedes cars are brilliant cars, but the watch seems cold and calculating when compared to the Panerai.  In the opinion of your humble presenter, that is exactly in keeping in mind with the engineering obsessed Germans and their technically brilliant AMG line of Mercedes cars.

I’ve never seen such lovely pairings of car and watch as in with these two watches, but there is a problem:

The problem is that while these watches are expensive for sure, they are not really all THAT expensive.  In other words, you don’t have to have a Ferrari budget or an AMG budget to buy one.  So that means that inevitably some guy you meet somewhere, who has a faint knowledge of cars or watches, is going to come up to you, admire your watch, and then inevitably ask if you’ve actually GOT a Ferrari or an AMG Mercedes.  If you wear that watch and don’t own the car then you will forever be destined for a life of embarrassment and a life of sagging your head to respond, “No, I don’t have the car…”

To me, a man wearing a watch like this is like a goofy teenager draped in Ferrari gear.  He has the Ferrari jacket, a Ferrari logo on his polo shirt,  and a Ferrari baseball cap.  He’s a fanboy for sure who likes to talk about how Ferrari can smash Lamborghini in a drag race and talks about the performance and the noise, but the problem is that he doesn’t actually HAVE one, nor has he probably ever BEEN in one, and eventually, after a while of listening to his nonsense you just want to tell him to shut the hell up.

I have, however, never come across a logoed watch as strange as this:

Girard-Perregaux Column – Wheel Women’s Watch

This watch is strange for a couple of reasons.  I know that it is a yachting team watch or something like that, but what a silly clash of styling.  You have a white leather banded watch, with a diamond bezel, yet you have the name of a software company on the dial and the name of a German car manufacturer.  Above all it’s the BMW logo, the makers of the most needlessly complicated cars in the world.

The end result is a watch that looks like it was either given away at a software convention or a watch you bought during an oil change, at some sort of BMW gift shop, along with the BMW aftershave.

The costs is what staggers me the most.  It is so INSANELY expensive I could not believe it.  Sure it’s got diamonds on it, but what kind of fan gear has a cost that is in the 5 figures?!?

It’s funny, but this is a question I have not addressed yet.

And why is that you may be asking?

Honestly… it’s because I don’t really care!

That’s right. The truth is that I really don’t care about so-called “beautiful watches.” Sure I may call a watch good-looking and whatever, but to me the “look” of a watch is not as important as its durability, legibility, functions, and overall usefulness in my everyday life and the lives of others.

I for one truly believe that beauty must be in the eye of the beholder. I would oftentimes hear my buddies describe their wives, girlfriends, cars, and other such things as “beautiful,” and while I may have doubts in my mind as to their choice of partner as well as their butt ugly cars, I get that I don’t have to find beauty in the same things they do and vice versa.

For example, if you were to ask me what the most beautiful watch in the world, I would probably say THIS:

Rolex Oyster Perpetual Explorer II Mens Watch 16570-WSO

You see for me, this is watch perfection. It has a fixed 24hour bezel so you don’t have to worry about having it accidentally turned, it has a clean and functional dial, and it has an 4th hour hand to keep track of a second time zone. On top of that it’s a tough-as-nails Rolex Oyster so you know it will last through almost anything you throw at it.

This durability, cleanness, and simple functionality is beauty in my mind. It’s got all the main points covered very well without being showy and ostentatious, and while I am aware that most non-watch enthusiasts may think that “plain” is overly generous word in describing this Rolex Explorer II, that’s cool with me because I think I know what they are getting at!

Let me explain…

There is a large majority of the population who appreciate this thing called “art.” It’s a fairly vague concept but basically amounts to someone looking at it and then having something in their mind saying “Sweet!”

It can also act as a way for imbeciles to appear sophisticated to girls, a way for rich jerks to one-up other rich jerks, and a very handy and useful way to cover up an otherwise boring white wall in your living room.

I don’t know, I guess you can say that I find a watch beautiful if they do their job so well that you never even notice. Something so pretty and delicate that you would be afraid to even swing your arms is just annoying. I would even say that I find a beautiful watch to be something that can go well with anything and can be worn everyday without fear of consequence.

But while I may be in a bit of a minority, I do understand that there are indeed genuine appreciators of watch beauty. They are people who take notice of beautifully finished movements, immaculate dials, complicated complications, and other fancy watch stuff, and based on that, if I were to say what watch company makes the most beautiful watches, I would say Ulysse Nardin.

Just for an example, look at THIS:

Ulysse Nardin Sonata Mens’ Alarm Watch Automatic 18K White Gold Grey Dial on Black Leather Strap 670-88/212

I have to admit, if I had the money, I would probably put this on every time before bed and just gaze at its beauty. Watch nuts just go gaga over Ulysee Nardin watches and it’s not hard to see why. This is just epically beautiful. I don’t know what to call all the fancy finishes, but the hands look as though they’ve come from a Picasso painting and the rest of it is quite nice to look at indeed!

Those rich folks who like to wear smoking jackets whilst swirling their brandy in their wingback chairs ought to enjoy this quite nicely. I can’t imagine being too comfortable wearing this watch out in public, but when in your home when you have a moment to yourself, you can just wear it and think to yourself that you have arrived!

In fact, I hereby declare this UN Sonata:

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WATCH IN THE WORLD!!!

The past few days my wife has been catching up on her “Lost” viewing before we both head into the world of surprises that await us in the 4th season. I’m already well caught up on the brilliance of the show, and for the most part have been passively watching it while going about my other things.

Whilst watching the first season, however, I couldn’t help but to notice that there is a discrepancy on the show which is watch-related. Besides the fact that Sawyer’s hair is noticeably shorter on the first episode of the show than it was during the flashback just before he got on the plane, this one probably went unnoticed by most viewers.

During the 6th episode of the first season, entitled, “House of the Rising Sun,” Jin gets upset at Michael for taking an obviously visible two-tone Rolex Datejust, similar to this one:

Rolex Oyster Perpetual Datejust Mens Watch 116233-SJDJ

Michael, who had no idea of the rightful owner of the watch then returned it back to Jin for a generally happy ending.

But here’s the problem:

I am not sure if Jin had more than one watch on the island, but later on in the season during the finale and then later in season 4 the Rolex Datejust suddenly became a two-tone white-dialed Rolex Daytona with Korean characters etched in the back:

Rolex Oyster Perpetual Cosmograph Daytona Mens Watch 116523-WSO

Either the makers of the show made a mistake or the inhabitants on the “Lost” island are living much more luxuriously than previously thought.

As I am typing the word “Vauxhall Astra” into my computer, the spell checker’s ominous red line of death has appeared under the word “Vauxhall.” “Valhalla,” being the most recommended suggestion for my apparent blunder leads me to believe that my American computer, loaded with software for the American market of course, hasn’t the foggiest idea of what I’m talking about.

Have you?

Well to fill you in on what I’m getting at, the Vauxhall (Opel) Astra is one of Europe’s best selling cars. I’ll spare you the details, but in general it’s a small car like a Ford Focus, but it’s a huge sales success. In the years when it’s not taking the number one position in sales it’s usually trailing a close 2nd or 3rd. It sells many thousands of units a month, and by now I must imagine that the total number of Astras running in the world must be well into the millions. By any measurable standard it is just as recognized in Europe as the Ford F-150 is recognized in these United States.

So the question remains, why has no one in the United States ever heard of it?

Well think about the landscape on Mars and the landscape on Earth. If you grew up on Mars like my wife did, you grew up with a red landscape and an eerie atmosphere, and for all of your life that is all you have ever known. It doesn’t excite you and you don’t feel the need to talk about it. If there was, however, an unusual and rare flower that you should happen to come across growing out of the red soil, you may want to try to sell it to your friends on Earth.

But that is where all the hype and exclusively tend to destroy that rare Martian flower. Everyone would want one, everyone with the means will get one and as a result it ceases to be so exclusive and rare anymore. In this instance it would be more exclusive to have something you’d find everywhere on Mars, like Martian rocks, rather than something that is far less common.

For an example using Italian cars I’ll take the Alfa Romeo Brera and a Ferrari. Everyone in Italy can buy a Brera. It’s not too expensive and the looks are just phenomenal, yet a very small relative proportion of Italians have the means to buy a Ferrari. In my area of residence in the U.S. Ferrari’s are so common that they don’t really catch my attention anymore. If I should happen to see an Alfa Romeo Brera however, I don’t think you would be able to shut me up for days on end.

My current watch dilemma is very similar to the case of the Alfa and the Ferrari. You see countries tend to export only the higher end stuff to other places and not the stuff you can find everyday. That is why you can buy German chocolate here, but not German bread. Right now what I covet is this:

This is the Seiko SBQJ017 and this is a watch that any person in Japan can go out and buy at any time. It is a remarkable quartz watch with a perpetual calendar and 4th “GMT” hand. It has a battery that will last around 10 years, an excellent quartz, and at only around $500 it is not too expensive at all. Yet in these United States you cannot find these ANYWHERE!!! Even trying to import one from Japan is a huge challenge since these are not in huge demand for these watches over in the United States. Seeing how there are plenty of people with money in the United States, and the fact that you can buy Rolex watches almost anywhere, you have to think about what is more exclusive, the Rolex, or the Seiko?