Similar to the satisfaction a thirsty man gets after drinking a refreshing glass of orange juice, and similar to the satisfaction a cigarette smoker can get after taking that first morning puff, it seems to be the way of things that once you have had your fill, your refreshing OJ and your pack of Camel Lights are the last thing on your mind.  That is… until the next craving arrives!

Something that has happend, that was weird, was that for the last several months after I had bought a new rubber strap for my beloved Seiko Black Monster, my cravings, my need to get more watches just kind of stopped.  I was in a zen-like place where I felt at peace with my watch collection and didn’t feel the need to get more.  I didn’t drool over watches I saw in TV or in magazines, I didn’t have watch wallpapers on my computer screen anymore, and I just didn’t really care about watches anymore.  I took the position that most sane people took.  I believed that watches were simply used to tell the time.

To speak such blasphemy from an individual such as myself really surprised me, but that is genuinely what happened.

That is only until very recently…

During a basketball game with my brother and some cronies, my brother got fed up with the chunky watch bezel of my beloved Seiko Black Monster tearing off pieces of his flesh and insisted I take it off.  Overestimating its durability I tossed it aside to the grass surrounding the court and heard a very audible thump as it hit the bare ground.  Thinking it to be fine I had continued to wear it until I realized that 8 p.m. looked awfully sunny for that part of the year.  Yup the watch was running VERY fast.  The fact that the repair estimates cost more than the watch itself meant that I had to give it up and say goodbye to my beloved Black Monster.

Seiko Men’s “Black Monster” Automatic Dive Watch #SKX779K3
R.I.P Seiko Black Monster (2007-2009)

I also got a rife good lesson in the potential costs of automatic wristwatch repair, and to utter another blasphemous phrase, I believe it would make life much easier just to a quartz.

That would be all fine and well, but just the utter thought of it makes me want to throw up my lunch.  You see quartz watches have no passion to them, no soul, their hearts are like the hearts of robots whereas mechanical watches have the hearts of people within them. (not literally of course).

My zen-like state with watches being over, the absence of an automatic diver within my collection has left me feeling incomplete and inadequate as a human being.

The search begins…

I’m not really sure why watches do this, but it is a practice that is hugely misleading. On the backs on many watches there is almost always this bold claim of “water resistance” to a certain depth it can never actually reach. On the whole it is hugely misleading and likely to ruin a perfectly good watch.

To offer an example, the back of my own Khaki King Automatic makes a claim of water resistance to 50M:

Hamilton H64455533 Men’s Khaki King Automatic Black Dial Strap, Free Shipping

Now what does this actually mean? Does it mean that this watch can go 50 meters underwater?

The short answer is, NO!

If you think about it, what does “water resistant” really mean? I mean would you buy body armor that is simply “bullet resistance” rather than “bullet proof?” I mean I can claim that my car is elephant resistant, but if an elephant hurls its mass toward the side of my car, I doubt it would fare very well.

The truth is that the advertised water resistance of most watches is an outright lie, and that any watch that claims any degree of water resistant is not capable of going to the depths it advertises. If a watch claims 50-100 meters of water resistant it may be suitable for wading in the kiddie pool and things like water skiing, but I would be wary to take it even to 1/10th of its advertised depth. And while I may concede that 200 meters of water resistance can maybe handle some light dives, it can’t go anywhere near 200 meters of depth.

I know that this doesn’t apply to the vast majority of you desk jockeys out there, but if you seriously want to go to great depths you have to get a watch that can handle it.

So how do you know?

It’s simple, all you have to do is look for the “DIVERS” mark on the watch:

Seiko Diver’s Automatic 200M – Black Dial – Stainless Bracelet

If you are having trouble reading it, reads:

SEIKO

AUTOMATIC

DIVER’S 200m

Watches that make the bold “DIVERS,” or “DIVER’S” claim means that it has met a certain set of standards and is actually suitable for diving to depths that you may never go and then some. These watches can take the punishment so have at it.

As I am typing the word “Vauxhall Astra” into my computer, the spell checker’s ominous red line of death has appeared under the word “Vauxhall.” “Valhalla,” being the most recommended suggestion for my apparent blunder leads me to believe that my American computer, loaded with software for the American market of course, hasn’t the foggiest idea of what I’m talking about.

Have you?

Well to fill you in on what I’m getting at, the Vauxhall (Opel) Astra is one of Europe’s best selling cars. I’ll spare you the details, but in general it’s a small car like a Ford Focus, but it’s a huge sales success. In the years when it’s not taking the number one position in sales it’s usually trailing a close 2nd or 3rd. It sells many thousands of units a month, and by now I must imagine that the total number of Astras running in the world must be well into the millions. By any measurable standard it is just as recognized in Europe as the Ford F-150 is recognized in these United States.

So the question remains, why has no one in the United States ever heard of it?

Well think about the landscape on Mars and the landscape on Earth. If you grew up on Mars like my wife did, you grew up with a red landscape and an eerie atmosphere, and for all of your life that is all you have ever known. It doesn’t excite you and you don’t feel the need to talk about it. If there was, however, an unusual and rare flower that you should happen to come across growing out of the red soil, you may want to try to sell it to your friends on Earth.

But that is where all the hype and exclusively tend to destroy that rare Martian flower. Everyone would want one, everyone with the means will get one and as a result it ceases to be so exclusive and rare anymore. In this instance it would be more exclusive to have something you’d find everywhere on Mars, like Martian rocks, rather than something that is far less common.

For an example using Italian cars I’ll take the Alfa Romeo Brera and a Ferrari. Everyone in Italy can buy a Brera. It’s not too expensive and the looks are just phenomenal, yet a very small relative proportion of Italians have the means to buy a Ferrari. In my area of residence in the U.S. Ferrari’s are so common that they don’t really catch my attention anymore. If I should happen to see an Alfa Romeo Brera however, I don’t think you would be able to shut me up for days on end.

My current watch dilemma is very similar to the case of the Alfa and the Ferrari. You see countries tend to export only the higher end stuff to other places and not the stuff you can find everyday. That is why you can buy German chocolate here, but not German bread. Right now what I covet is this:

This is the Seiko SBQJ017 and this is a watch that any person in Japan can go out and buy at any time. It is a remarkable quartz watch with a perpetual calendar and 4th “GMT” hand. It has a battery that will last around 10 years, an excellent quartz, and at only around $500 it is not too expensive at all. Yet in these United States you cannot find these ANYWHERE!!! Even trying to import one from Japan is a huge challenge since these are not in huge demand for these watches over in the United States. Seeing how there are plenty of people with money in the United States, and the fact that you can buy Rolex watches almost anywhere, you have to think about what is more exclusive, the Rolex, or the Seiko?

Many people in this great planet are guilty of looking at one type of thing and then automatically assuming that a similar thing must operate in the exact same way, like the same things, or just be the same overall. This kind of stereotyping has obviously caused some problems in history, the schoolyard, and wherever this kind of stuff goes on, but we are not going to get into that…

The watch world has a similar type of stereotype, and it isn’t particularly harmful, but it is an element of ignorance that I wish to clarify today. That being that while watches serve the ultimate purpose of telling the time, the inner workings of the watch cannot be assumed to be the same. In other words, the way a Timex operates and the way Rolex function are very different and it’s important to know that difference if you wish to enjoy watches to their fullest.

You see the vast vast majority of watches you see on the wrists of ordinary people these days are quartz powered watches. They use a battery, they tick, they’re cheap, you can leave them in a drawer and it will still be running fine months later. Besides that they are very accurate, and they require minimal maintenance. To the layperson a quartz watch is the obvious choice, and rightfully so. They are cheap, reliable, and a breeze to maintain.

But unbeknown to the public at large there is another type of watch that, before the introduction of the quartz watch in the 1970’s, adorned the wrists of the people long before. This is the mechanical watch. As a machine it is similar to a music box. You keep it wound = it works, you don’t = it stops. The drawbacks of a mechanical watch compared to a quartz are plenty. To start a mechanical watch is much less accurate, they cost a whole lot more, they are expensive to maintain, and you need to constantly keep them wound. You can “tune” a mechanical watch to be as accurate as a quartz, but generally speaking a mechanical watch almost never has the out-of-box accuracy of a quartz watch. Whereas an average quartz watch can keep an accuracy within +-15 seconds a month, for a mechanical watch to keep an accuracy within +- 2 minutes is considered to be quite good. On top of that, while a mechanical watch doesn’t use any batteries, or any electricity for that matter, you need to constantly worry about keeping them wound and keeping all those moving parts maintained costs a whole heck of a lot more.

The introduction of the quartz by Seiko delivered a knockout punch to the Swiss watch industry. And why not? They offered a more accurate and less fussy alternative for a whole lot less.

So did the mechanical watch go the way of the dodo? Hardly…

It seems that mechanical watches enjoy a sense of prestige in that all the major high-end watches almost exclusively offer mechanical watches. Whether it be Rolex, Patek Philippe, Panerai, they largely do away with the quartz. So all of you who wish to breathe the rarefied air in the watch world can invest in one of these watches. On top of that watch enthusiasts like me find a deep sense of passion having those small machines adorn our wrists everyday. They are short on sense, but high in passion!

If you have read my previous comments about the Seiko Black Monster you will know that I am a HUGE fan of this watch. The first thing that hits you about this watch is the astounding amount of quality you get for such a low price. That value, in turn, comes freedom, and here’s how…

Having a watch like a Black Monster takes away any consideration you might have for that watch. You KNOW that this watch can handle ANYTHING, and what’s great is that if you knock it around to destruction, just buy another one! Get it stolen? buy another one! They are SO cheap and yet have the accuracy and all the features you’d find in a $5,000 Rolex. Their luminous treatment is the brightest I’ve ever seen, it has a diver’s extension, bezel, both a push-button clasp and a foldover clasp for added security, and it’s an AUTOMATIC.

Here’s a picture of the little guy here in the office:

Seiko Men’s “Black Monster” Automatic Dive Watch #SKX779K3

If it’s raining, snowing, or if I’m going snowboarding or rock climbing, the first and ONLY watch I consider is my Seiko Black Monster. When one of my buddies and I saw Radiohead at Nissan Pavilion this past Sunday, the rain was treacherous and we were soaked to the bone. My Black Monster, however, was immaculate!

What can I say, it’s a trooper, and unlike my Rolex Submariner I can take it anywhere without the awareness of having a $5,000 watch on my wrist that some junta would gladly chop my arm off for.

But while that sounds all well and good, one thing to keep in mind is that you are not ALWAYS doing things that are EXTREME!!! In fact most of the time I’m usually just sitting around and being a lazy pig. And to me wearing such a chunky diving watch while watching TV or getting comfy with your best girl is just a little too much. To me it’s like taking a Humvee and trying to thread it through New York City traffic. It’s just not necessary!

I love the watch when I’m off being a adrenaline junkie, but in the civilized world it is a little much. First of all, it is VERY heavy and really chunky. The case is as thick as a sandwich and the weight really makes itself known when you are mellowing out.

The weight, however, is not so bad. The most important gripe I have with this watch is that it is an automatic watch that cannot be manually wound. In other words it means that in order to keep the watch wound and powered I have to wear it for a certain amount of time or else it will stop when left alone.  This is one reason why the Seiko Black Monster can afford to be so cheap.
In contrast, a “normal” automatic watch allows you to manually wind a watch by rotating the crown and thus bypasses the need to use the rotor to wind the watch. For comparisons sake let’s compare the use of a whisk to a blender in creating a batter. The Seiko Black Monster would be the whisk in that you need high energy movements for a longer period time to make a batter. A “normal” automatic watch, however, would be like a blender in that you just simply press a button and it does the work for you.

If the Seiko Black Monster were my only watch that would not be much of a problem as my wearing it every day would power it enough, but the problem is that it is not my only watch, and as of yet I do not own a watch winder, so the end result is that I wear the Black Monster a whole lot more than I want to, and just end up manually winding and neglecting my other watches.

When it’s all said and done, the Seiko Black Monster may be as tough as Sylvester Stallone and my personal choice if there should ever be a nuclear holocaust, but has the downside in that it hogs your attention just like a newborn baby.

My adorable fiancee, and soon to be wife of your humble presenter has had a noticeable change in watch tastes of late. Previously garnishing $8 quartz watches purchased from mall kiosks, her collection has grown to a very sizable collection of 2 watches of battery-powered banality. Having met me though her tastes have improved significantly not only in quality, but in design and uniqueness, and too long ago I made a fair deal and got my lady this beautiful Movado watch:

Movado Esperanza Chronograph Watch

Movado watches are quite offensive in the opinion of this humble presenter, but my lady liked the style so who was I to say no, and because it is a mens watch means that it wears a little larger on the wrist.  It’s got the bling factor for sure!

I do not generally care for Movado watches, but I have to concede and say this quartz watch makes sense, and because it’s a Movado, only you know it’s a quartz because there is no seconds hand to suggest otherwise. The quartz watch means that only minimal maintenance is required and that you can just set it and forget it.

Quite frankly I have to say that I’m relieved that my lady is satisfied with quartz watches because the idea of maintaining more mechanical watches frightens me. So with freedom from winding and maintenance I got her yet another worry-free watch  This time, I made it myself:)

The Subject, this old Seiko which started life out like this:

And then the transformation:

Excellent!

So you think a girl who just got an addition of 2 watches would be satisfied right?

WRONG!!!

Shopping around this past weekend she has come to ooh and ahh after yet ANOTHER watch with a BIG price tag.

Oh do I miss the days when $8 clunkers was her norm…

I’VE CREATED A MONSTER!!!

Have you ever bought a diver’s watch and wondered as to the exact purpose of that exclusively left-turning ring doohickey surrounding the dial of your watch?

Well let me just say, if you feel stupid because you don’t know how to operate this thing, that’s because you probably are.

Seriously, even a monkey can do this:

Seiko Men’s “Black Monster” Automatic Dive Watch #SKX779K3

IS A MONKEY SMARTER THAT YOU?!?!

If you don’t know what I am talking about I’ll show you what I mean using my Seiko Black Monster:

Seiko Men’s “Black Monster” Automatic Dive Watch #SKX779K3

This is a typical dive watch, and if you’ve read some of my earlier posts you know that I love this watch even though it does weigh a ton. It’s got everything that a typical dive watch has got. It has luminous hands and markers, great depth rating, tough steel case and bracelet, rugged looks, and most importantly of all for the purposes of this tutorial, it has a diving bezel.

If you still don’t know what I’m going on about I have singled out the diving bezel just for you:

Seiko Men’s “Black Monster” Automatic Dive Watch #SKX779K3

Now as you see the bezel has minute (or seconds if you will) increments that goes up to the number 60. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that because there are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in a hour, and the fact that a diving bezel is on a bloody WATCH, probably means that its purpose has got something to do with measuring time.

Well you guessed right genius, a diving bezel is used to measure time, and its purpose, diving of course.

I won’t bore you with the details of diving but the purpose of a diving bezel is typically for divers to time their decompression stops. You see, when a diver goes deep underwater they have to endure a great deal of pressure. Going down to great depths, however, is not quite the same as coming back up. A diver can get down to great depths relatively fast, but when coming back they can’t do it too fast or they might get sick or even die.

To overcome this, divers have to come up in carefully-timed stages, and in this situation a watch becomes as important a diving tool as a wet suit and a scuba tank. You ever notice how the increments on a diving bezel are different from the 0-15 minute position as opposed to the rest of a bezel? That is because the typical decompression stop for most diving situations is 15 minutes. Ever wonder why you can only turn the darn thing counterclockwise? That is because it is safer for the diver not to perceive a shorter elapsed time if the bezel should accidentally get turned after it is set.

Well now that you know a little more, it’s time to learn how to operate the thing.

Well here is my Seiko Black Monster sitting on the wrist of your humble presenter. As you notice the bezel is set so that the ‘zero’ mark is set at the 60 minute, or 12 o’clock position:

Seiko Men’s “Black Monster” Automatic Dive Watch #SKX779K3

Let’s just say we are underwater on a dive. Actually forget that! I want to use a more real-world situation, so let’s say we want to know how long it takes for my cake to bake. Disregarding the above shot of my Black Monster, the current time on my watch is 11:40, so what we want to do is turn the bezel so that the ‘zero’ mark, or the big triangle, is hovering right over my minute hand like so:

Seiko Men’s “Black Monster” Automatic Dive Watch #SKX779K3

So now that my bezel is set I just leave it there until I need it again. When my minute hand reaches 11:55 that would mean that 15 minutes has elapsed, when the watch hits 12:00 that would mean 20 minutes have passed and so on and so on…

Well I’m smelling a burning from the office oven so that must mean that my cake is done. I read my watch and it looks like this:

Seiko Men’s “Black Monster” Automatic Dive Watch #SKX779K3

Now pay attention. How long was my cake in the oven? Look at the time, it is now 12:18.

If haven’t figured it out at this point, than you have problems. Here is the solution:

Seiko Men’s “Black Monster” Automatic Dive Watch #SKX779K3

Main purpose of a diving watch is diving, but I suspect that diving bezels all across the world will do just as well timing steaks on the grill as well.

Well there you have it monkey. That is how you use a diving bezel:

Seiko Men’s “Black Monster” Automatic Dive Watch #SKX779K3

Unbeknown to most of world there is a type of watch that can withstand the extreme pressures of the cold and endless deep. This type of watch will continue to work in extreme depths long after its wearer has expired, and as a marvel it is like a high-tech multi-million dollar submarine wrapped in a package no larger than… well a watch really!

This type of watch is known as a dive watch.

Like an SUV its original incarnations were purpose-built. In the mid 20th century there was an increasing demand for watches to be able to withstand certain depths and tell time accurately and legibly while doing so. The need for divers to accurately and reliably time their decompression stops, level of oxygen, etc. was soon beginning to mean the difference between life and death.

Touting features such as a unidirectional rotating bezel, big luminous markers, and usually beefy and rugged aesthetics, dive watches suddenly become popular amongst the non-diving crowd as being watches that made even fat middle aged accountants look like undersea cave explorers.

Here is an example of a great diver with a Seiko Black Monster belonging to yours truly:

Seiko Men’s “Black Monster” Automatic Dive Watch #SKX779K3

This is a very rugged watch indeed. I swim with this watch, I shoot with this watch, I play golf with this watch, you name it!

The perceived idea behind dive watches is that because it is capable of withstanding extreme depths, it is also just as capable at withstanding all the various harshnesses above the water as well, and with the divers I have owned over the years, I believe that to be absolutely true.

Another fan of the dive watch: James Bond, who has in almost all of his movies worn a dive watch.

But just like SUVs of the modern era, modern-day dive watches have gone beserk!

You see the reality is that many watches can handle all of things that an ordinary life may throw at us. Most of us aren’t Jacques Cousteau and most of us don’t really need a dive watch, but people seem to embrace the idea and adventurous aura that is associated with them even if they themselves are ill-prepared to tackle the depths their watches can withstand.

The era of useful mechanical divers is long gone though. Recreational divers and watch enthusiasts can certainly dive with them, but most professional divers these days use virtual computers with straps on them, such an example of this would be the Suunto D4:

Today it seems as though mechanical dive watches are less about diving now than they are about watch manufacturers constantly trying to one-up themselves on how deep their watches can go. And at this stage they have gone just completely insane.

I’ll give you an example with the IWC Aquatimer:

IWC Aquatimer Automatic – 3548.07 Gents Watch

Now you see, beyond 300 meters of depth you are pretty much dead, so my guess is that
the one THOUSAND meter depth rating of the IWC Aquatimer offers more than enough headroom for any diver. So who thought of THIS:

IWC Aquatimer Automatic 2000 – 3538.03 Gents Watch

Now this is the IWC Aquatimer 2000, and the difference between this one and the standard model is that this one can go TWO THOUSAND meters underwater.

Now in my mind that is like making a watch that can go to Mars and then making a watch that can go to Mars AND Jupiter. I mean sure it’s a great accomplishment, but what’s the point?!? You ain’t going to neither so why make a watch with capabilities no one can come anywhere close to reaching.

I can offer you another example with the Omega Planet Ocean, and for those of who don’t know, this is the most recent Bond watch, and you can see the larger rubber-strapped version strapped on Daniel Craig during the first half of Casino Royale.

Omega Seamaster Planet Ocean – 2201.50.00 Gents Watch

There’s no getting around it with me: I LOVE this watch. It is like taking all the things you love about the Rolex Submariner and combining it with all the things you loved with the previous Bond Omega Seamaster. It is a great watch indeed, but I’m afraid it is also guilty of carrying around some unnecessary garnish.

First of all, this watch has a depth rating of 600 meters. Human divers cannot go anywhere near that depth unless they are either in some kind of submarine or have long since expired. That’s not too bad though…

The most important thing is that the Omega Seamaster Planet Ocean, like many Omega Seamasters before it, sports a “helium escape valve.” See that funny looking crown at the 10 o’clock position? That’s the helium escape valve, and whether you love it or not it is a characteristic feature of most of the Omega Seamaster line.

So what does that thing do? Well in short, it’s a one-way opening that lets helium get out of your watch case.

You see, below a certain extreme depth that you will never reach, oxygen becomes more and more toxic and helium is used more for breathing than oxygen. Helium has a downside in mechanical watches in that its molecule is so small it can penetrate into your watch and then rapidly expand upon resurfacing. This can effectively pop off your watch crystal as well as damage other watch components.

Sure it works, but it’ll never be an issue since only professional divers will ever go so far, and I can tell you they wouldn’t be using an Omega Planet Ocean. So there you have it, the helium escape valve is utterly utterly useless.

In conclusion, as far as mechanical dive watches go, I absolutely love them. They are my favorite kind of watch and I will continue to own them and beat them up for years to come

Sorry I couldn’t resist. Happy Valentine’s Day to all. Here is another picture I dug up of my tough as nails Seiko automatic Diver’s watch called the BLACK MONSTER. I hope you all have a love as strong as the love I have for my Black Monster:

Seiko Diver’s Automatic 200M – Black Dial – Stainless Bracelet

No it’s not what you think. Although it’s not far off, but… Oh never mind! This is the Seiko Black Monster I’m talking about here. It is a diving watch from the far east with a small but loyal cult following. Originally available only in Japan it has made it’s way overseas and your humble presenter was able to scoop one up. Without further adieu, here is my Black Monster:

Seiko Diver’s Automatic 200M – Black Dial – Stainless Bracelet

When I first picked this up I immediately knew why this watch is nicknamed the Black Monster. It’s big, it’s thick, and it’s heavy. (Hmm…) This is a big chunk of metal no doubt. It’s not the biggest Diver’s watch you will find, but for me and most people it’s more than enough watch. Its nighttime illumination is top-notch. It’s accuracy is unheard of at this price level, and I have a feeling this automatic watch will last many many years without the need for servicing. Here it is sitting on the wrist of your humble presenter:

Seiko Diver’s Automatic 200M – Black Dial – Stainless Bracelet

It’s big, it’s heavy, and it’s ugly, but I absolutely love this thing. The clasp is an especially nice touch with both push button and deployment adding two layers of security to the thing. The bracelet is super-solid and honestly I’m hard-pressed to find much of a difference between this and something like a Rolex Submariner. I suppose you won’t feel such a loss if you should happen to drop this thing in the ocean, but as far as I know, this watch is the best value, best bang for your buck. However you want to put it, it’s a steal. I love my Black Monster.