I don’t like watches with corporate logos on them.  I think they are pretty stupid.  If it were something like a mickey mouse watch that made Timex so popular, or something cheap, that would be perfectly fine with me.  But on luxury timepieces, I just don’t think they work.

Take for example, this Rolex:

No this is not a bad fake, this was an actual Rolex that Domino’s pizza commissioned for its highest ranking franchise owners, because of its rarity it is somewhat of a collector’s item, but I feel I have to ask the obvious:

Why, oh why?!?!

This watch looks so so stupid.  It looks as though it could be purchased at some sort of Domino’s gift shop while waiting for your pizza and buffalo wings.

Luckily, by the grace of whomever you pray to, Rolex no longer allows this kind of altering of their dials, and I approve that decision whole heartily.  I don’t think I would wear that Rolex  if I had a gun pointed to my head, but on the upside, if someone mugged you, I think the mugger would probably give your watch back because he would be shocked at the horror.

When it comes to logos on luxury watches nothing is more common than cars logos.  Because if you think about it, luxury cars and luxury watches go together like cheese and wine.  They both go way beyond the practical, and both owners of luxury cars and luxury watches spend those huge sums of money because they love them and they feel a passion for them.

However, no one that I am aware of has ever made a cheese-flavored wine or a wine-flavored cheese.  Why? Because the two, whilst excellent in itself, are better apart than together.  I feel the same way about watches and cars.  The two manufacturer’s should keep away from each other.  It’s alright for watch manufacturer’s to make clocks in luxury cars, I actually quite like that, but putting car logos on watches is so silly, and here’s why:

Let’s start with two watches that have done it right:

Panerai Ferrari Granturismo Automatic Mens’ Watch Automatic Stainless Steel Black Dial on Black Strap FER00002

And THIS:

IWC Ingenieur Chronograph AMG Titanium Black Dial Men’s Watch

These two watches, The Panerai Ferrari Granturismo, and the IWC Ingenieur AMG (for the Mercedes AMG cars), are exquisite, and while both watch manufacturers are technically Swiss , Panerai has always been traditionally Italian just as IWC resides in the most northern part of Switzerland and embodies largely German traditions.  I like these watches a lot as they embody the characters of the cars quite well.

The Panerai is a brilliant watch just as a Ferrari is a brilliant car, but it is also stylish and looks as though it could have only been thought of by the fashion-crazy Italians.  Similarly, the IWC Ingenieur AMG is a brilliant watch just as the AMG line of Mercedes cars are brilliant cars, but the watch seems cold and calculating when compared to the Panerai.  In the opinion of your humble presenter, that is exactly in keeping in mind with the engineering obsessed Germans and their technically brilliant AMG line of Mercedes cars.

I’ve never seen such lovely pairings of car and watch as in with these two watches, but there is a problem:

The problem is that while these watches are expensive for sure, they are not really all THAT expensive.  In other words, you don’t have to have a Ferrari budget or an AMG budget to buy one.  So that means that inevitably some guy you meet somewhere, who has a faint knowledge of cars or watches, is going to come up to you, admire your watch, and then inevitably ask if you’ve actually GOT a Ferrari or an AMG Mercedes.  If you wear that watch and don’t own the car then you will forever be destined for a life of embarrassment and a life of sagging your head to respond, “No, I don’t have the car…”

To me, a man wearing a watch like this is like a goofy teenager draped in Ferrari gear.  He has the Ferrari jacket, a Ferrari logo on his polo shirt,  and a Ferrari baseball cap.  He’s a fanboy for sure who likes to talk about how Ferrari can smash Lamborghini in a drag race and talks about the performance and the noise, but the problem is that he doesn’t actually HAVE one, nor has he probably ever BEEN in one, and eventually, after a while of listening to his nonsense you just want to tell him to shut the hell up.

I have, however, never come across a logoed watch as strange as this:

Girard-Perregaux Column – Wheel Women’s Watch

This watch is strange for a couple of reasons.  I know that it is a yachting team watch or something like that, but what a silly clash of styling.  You have a white leather banded watch, with a diamond bezel, yet you have the name of a software company on the dial and the name of a German car manufacturer.  Above all it’s the BMW logo, the makers of the most needlessly complicated cars in the world.

The end result is a watch that looks like it was either given away at a software convention or a watch you bought during an oil change, at some sort of BMW gift shop, along with the BMW aftershave.

The costs is what staggers me the most.  It is so INSANELY expensive I could not believe it.  Sure it’s got diamonds on it, but what kind of fan gear has a cost that is in the 5 figures?!?