These particular musings of your humble presenter add very little value to the pursuit of worldly knowledge I admit, but there is this current dilemma I am facing that I suspect might apply to all of you out of many things you may encounter in life.  You see, I have always been a fan of diving watches.  I drool over them, I lust after them, and I want them, but the problem is that I do so primarily by looking at pictures that look like THIS:

Ulysse Nardin Maxi Marine Diver Chronometer Mens’ Watch Automatic 18K Rose Gold Black Dial on Black Rubber Strap 266-33-3A/92

… And while watches like these looks fantastic, how does this picture, with the watch in its infinite white background, suggest how this watch might look on ME.

It is often the way with watches.  You can lust after them all you want, you can look at countless pictures, you can even see the way the watch looks on the wrists of others, but when it comes to the day when you walk in the jewelry store ready to meet your dream, you look at it and are forced to concede that it will never work.

Perhaps it is your forest of black arm hair, perhaps it’s your twiggy excuse for a wrist, or perhaps it is the clash of a fine watches with your awful sense of style.  Whatever the reason, it just does not work and you are forced to move on.

In MY particular pursuit of the perfect watch, however, I will share the story of how I accidentally stumbled upon THIS:

TAG Heuer Men’s Monaco Automatic Chronograph Watch #CW2111.FC6177

This is a Tag Heuer Monaco, and as a watch I have always known that they existed, but for some unknown reason, I had largely ignored them.  I don’t know what it was, but I just never liked square watches.  They just never seemed to show time symmetrically somehow…

The way I stumbled on it was entirely on accident as well…

Basically I was going through a mall waiting for my wife to do whatever it is she does at the mall, and just saw that at a jewelry store was having a going out of business sale.

Entering out of pure curiosity, that’s when I saw it!

It didn’t really catch my eye at first, and the way it was kind of tossed in with the other clearance watches didn’t give it much of a sense of aura, but when I slapped it on my wrist…

IT…

WAS…

MAGIC!!!

I really don’t know what to say, but when I put that watch on me it was like getting a B-12 shot right into my veins.  It was just a sensational blend, as though milk met coffee for the very first time.  I just couldn’t believe I could instantly fall in love with a watch the way I did with the Monaco.  The last I had a feeling like this was with a Hamilton, and I got it!

I can’t rationalize it either, no matter how hard I try.

It has no form of water resistance whatsoever, it has one of those stupid automatic chronographs which make it hard to time things longer than 1 minute, and it’s got the date as part of a sub-dial, which just causes confusion.

I don’t care!!!

All I know is that when I wore this watch, it was like two galaxies got together and started to mate.

It felt just right, and I suspect that when comes the day I can shop for such a goody again, it will be this.

A great many decades ago within the pristine mountains of Switzerland, a group of people from a group of Swiss cantons, or “states” if you prefer, took some time out of their fondue breaks and eventually formed a group that would be known as Contrôle Officiel Suisse des Chronomètres.

The ultimate goal of the Contrôle Officiel Suisse des Chronomètres, or C.O.S.C. for short, was to set a standard in the Swiss watch industry by subjecting the finest Swiss timepieces to a series of accuracy and durability tests. If a watch submitted to the COSC met their rigorous standards, the manufacturer could officially label the watch as a “Chronometer” and allow it to leave Switzerland with the nation’s honor intact.

You may not have heard of the organization, but if you have ever looked at the dial of a Rolex and wondered what “Superlative Chronometer” and “Officially Certified,” means, now you know:

Rolex Oyster Perpetual Sea Dweller 4000 Mens Watch 16600-BSO

The simple fact is that the only reason why COSC certification is held in such high regard is because ROLEX sends almost all of their watches to COSC, and that ALL of the popular Rolex models carry this certification. Out of the three major facilities of the COSC, TWO devote themselves almost entirely to Rolex movements.

The truth, however, is that on the whole less than 5% of all Swiss watches produced in any given year even bother getting this certification.

Why?

Because it is simply NOT necessary. Manufacturer’s own internal tests and standards tend to be just as good, if not better than COSC, so they don’t bother with the cost and the hassle.

What good is a certification anyway if many of the biggest and most respected watchmakers in the world, watchmakers such as A. Lange & Sohne, Breguet, IWC, and one of my favorites, Jaeger Le-Coultre, don’t even bother with it?

In the opinion of your humble presenter, the only reason other non-Rolex watches get “certified” in the first place is because they try to compete with Rolex by saying that because their watch passed the same kind of certification as a ROLEX, it must be just as good.

The best I could figure out though is that COSC certification is only used to offer uneducated turkeys, with a little money in his pocket mind you, some element of peace of mind. And believe me, I’ve heard the sales pitch before:

Basically some normal guy, who would normally buy his watches at Target, walks into a watch store and is duped into thinking that COSC is this magical Swiss agency that gives watches the gold standard and that all watches not certified by them must be junk.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a HUGE Rolex fan, but if you are new to luxury wristwatches I implore you to not to let this useless certification be a factor in making your choice. The COSC certification, in the opinion of your humble presenter, does mean something, but it is by no means the gold standard in the watch industry that many claim it to be, and most watches as just as good.