The most famous chronograph watch in the world is debatable, but there is no debate.  It’s the Omega Speedmaster Professional:

3570.50 Speedmaster Mens Stainless Steel Watch

The Rolex Daytona fans can moan all they want, but when it comes to mechanical chronographs, how can you beat the Omega Speedmaster Professional?

This watch, after all, was the first and for the longest time, ONLY watch worn on the moon.  Its most touted use, however, was when it was very prominently used to time the afterburner rockets that allowed the crippled Apollo 13 spaceship to fly home.

There are no doubts that this is one of the most historically significant watches out there, and if you ever looked its bezel,  that is, the rim of the watch, you will probably notice that it’s got a Tachymeter (or Tachymetre, or Tachometer):

Now what exactly IS a tachymeter you might be asking?

Well a real tachymeter is certinaly more complicated than a plastic rim with some numbers on it, but when it comes to watches, a tachymeter is used to measure speed, but there are some caveats…

Here’s how it works.  It takes pretty much any unit of distance, such as a mile, a kilometer, etc. and it tells you how many of it your are doing of it in an hour.  You start the chronograph and use it to measure the elapsed time it takes you to travel a certain measure of distance such as a mile, nautical mile, and what have you.

Okay, here we go:

For all intents and purposes, please do not focus on anything else on the watch EXCEPT the hand that it is pointed directly at the 12 o’ clock position.  I know a lot of people are thinking this is probably the seconds hand, but it is not.  In most mechanical chronographs this is the hand that times stuff.  (See the sub-dial at the 9 o’clock position with the numbers ‘20,’ ‘40,’ and ‘60,’ on it?  That is what is measuring the seconds.  If the chronograph is not engaged, the hand pointing at the 12 o’clock position will not move).

Okay let’s say we are traveling in a very fast rocket powered car with no speedometer.  We want to know how fast we are going but don’t have the faintest of idea, but we do have an odometer so when a new mile starts we engage the chronograph…

After the odometer travels that one mile we stop the chronograph, and as you can now see, the chronograph hand says it took us about 37 seconds to travel that mile.  If you look at the tachymeter reading, you can see that you have been traveling at about 97 miles per hour.  That’s pretty fast!

I’m sure you can see where some problems with this lie…

First of all, you would have to know how long a certain unit of distance is.  You would have to know how long a mile is, you would have to know how long a kilometer is, etc…

Secondly, and most important, you would have to be going at least 60 of that rate of speed for the tachymeter to be of any use.  If you take longer than a minute to travel that unit of distance you are done for.

It is so stupid, but it sets a perfectly reasonable speed to be the bare minimum of its use.  Whoever regularly goes up to 300 miles/hm per hour is a person I’d like to meet, and if he uses his watch as his only means of determining that speed, that’s pretty cool.

To a lesser extent a tachymeter can also be used to measure the total distance you have traveled, but that would requiring you to be traveling at a constant speed.  Bottom line is that I know why they have it the Omega Speedmaster Professional, it’s tradition, but why is it on so many automatic chronographs in this modern age still baffles me.

It is not needed, no one uses it, most people are not “speed masters,” so why can’t we just get rid of it?

Whilst watching the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, did you ever notice how all of the timing stuff is done by Omega?

Similarly, did you know that an Omega was the very first wristwatch worn on the moon?

I did, it was this one in fact:

3570.50 Speedmaster Mens Stainless Steel Watch

These Olympics Games will actually mark the 23rd time Omega has been the official timekeeper for the Olympic Games, and ever since 1932 Omega has pioneered and innovated the world of sports timing ever since.  That’s more than any other watchmaker in history, and that is a remarkable achievement.

…or is it?

You see if you look at the history of Olympic timing and the development of things like the “Moonwatch,” you will notice a history focused on precision, perfection, durability, and reliability.  The really are fantastic timing instruments and exactly what a watch should be, but to be honest, I really couldn’t care less.

Because in the long and short of it, while Omega tries to be cool, and may currently have James Bond and Michael Phelps spouting its latest euro-chic incarnation, the spectacular Omega Planet Ocean:

Omega Seamaster Planet Ocean – 2201.50.00 Gents Watch

… it cannot escape the fundamental fact that Omega watches are watches built for nerds.

I’ll give you a perfect example:

When man landed on the moon with the Omega “Moonwatch” on their wrists, a bunch of nerdy men with big glasses, and pocket protectors, and Omega watches no less, basically took a very complex math problem and solved it.  There’s no denying that it was a remarkable achievement, but it is a little too cold and calculating to be very exciting for me.

When Sir Edmund Hillary first reached the top of Mount Everest, in contrast, with a ROLEX on his wrist, he was part of a group of men that braved conditions most unfriendly to the human body to achieve a vast unknown.  Obviously there was also some planning involved to it, but there were no calculators and certainly no pocket protectors.  They just saw a peak and decided to go there.  They didn’t just sit around in a rocket-propelled tuna can waiting to play around in some moon sand.

Perhaps I’m being a little too harsh, but the way I feel about Omega and the Olympics is not going to be all that better.

In general, I think the only reason we watch the Olympics is because they don’t come around that often and it instills within us a sense of national pride.  But do we really care about these obscure athletes in these obscure sports that we otherwise would not care to watch?

I don’t…

When I heard that Omega would be sponsoring the Olympics again, it came as no big surprise, but again, it is all a little too calculating.  The Olympics are about the best in the world coming together to compete.  It’s a world where .001 of a second could mean the difference between the Gold and the Silver.  It’s an environment where precision and accuracy rule and a world where athletes are more national precision instruments rather than people you can truly care for.

I just don’t dig that.

Rolex, in contrast, sponsor events like Wimbledon.  Events in which timing isn’t even necessary.  All you care about your favorite tennis player utterly vanquishing his foes.  It’s not a victory over a machine or a country’s atheletic representitive, it is a victory over a person, it is a victory you can salivate, and it is a victory you can truly FEEL.

I hate to say it, but when I think about Omega watches I think of brilliant timepieces for people who use to be nerdy kids and are currently nerdy adults.  The back of my mind is always thinking big glasses, short-sleeved dress shirts, pocket protectors, and office chairs.

When I think of the one I use to have, I knew that it wasn’t right from the very beginning, even though it has never let me down.

No, I’ll always be a Rolex man that’s for sure.  For me Rolex inspires a fire within me like no other.  They may not be perfect, but perfect, I find, can be rather boring.

The fear quakes in your knees, your heart races, you feel a strangeness in your bosom and your meager breakfast is on the verge of a full scale return…

What could possibly be going on you ask?

Well today my small steps within a Maryland courthouse translated into gigantic leaps in my life when I finally went ahead and picked up my marriage license.

As an event I equate it like getting alcohol rubbed on your skin before the big shot comes. The anticipation brought havoc to my stomach and my insides felt as though it were composed of mush, but once I got that little piece of paper I realized that it was no big deal at all and went on my merry way.

So driving to work were my immediate thoughts of the bright future I would have with my future wife? Or perhaps plans for the wedding?

The short answer is no…

I’m afraid that the watch nut in me couldn’t help but immediately think of what watch I want to sucker my friends and family into buying for me.

I’m pretty sure that it’ll be an Omega just because out of all the watches I’ve owned over the years my old Omega was the toughest and most reliable of them all. There’s no getting around it, I’m a huge Omega fan and love the huge majority of their model line and just love the years and years of breeding that goes into an Omega watch.

The choice was tough, but I’ve narrowed it down to a few watches I personally consider to be perfect:

No. 1

Omega Seamaster Planet Ocean – 2201.50.00 Gents Watch

I really like this watch a lot, and I think it is a perfect “marriage” of both the older Omega Seamaster design and the Rolex Submariner design. It is tough as nails, sleek, stylish, and just awesome, but that’s not all…

There is another reason I want this watch, and it is a stupid reason indeed. You see on the Playstation 3 network, the name I use to play Call of Duty 4 online is “planetocean.” I have defeated countless opponents with this name and have been defeated countless times myself, and it is getting to a point where I’m starting to feel pretty silly having that name without having the actual watch.

Yeah…

No. 2:

Omega Speedmaster Broad Arrow GMT – 3581.30.00 Gents Watch

This watch is perfect to me for two reasons: That being it is an Omega and that it has both a chronograph AND a GMT. And what’s more is that it’s from the Speedmaster line, so that means your watch was borne from the watch that Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and many other astronauts wore to the MOON.  Zounds!

On top of that I LOVE the red date, the color of the dial, and just the darn professionalism of the thing. I’ve never actually worn it so my opinion may change, but I fell in love with this watch the first moment I saw this.

Sadly I don’t think my friends and family like me enough to spend 5K on a watch for me so let’s move on…

No. 3

Chopard Mille Miglia Gran Turismo XL – 16/8457-BK Gents Watch

Lastly I was thinking this Chopard Mille Miglia Gran Turismo XL is the shiznit. It’s got the name of one of my favorite video games on the dial, I love how the dial is like the instrument panel of a car, I love how the power reserve indicator is like a fuel guage, and I especially love the tire tread strap.

This watch is in a class all its own!

To be honest with you I’m not getting my hopes up, my circle consists largely of criminals and pensioners, and that’s just speaking of my father. So you guys can relax, you ain’t got get me nothing.  I’ll just as gladly settle for a pint and we can consider us all square.