These particular musings of your humble presenter add very little value to the pursuit of worldly knowledge I admit, but there is this current dilemma I am facing that I suspect might apply to all of you out of many things you may encounter in life.  You see, I have always been a fan of diving watches.  I drool over them, I lust after them, and I want them, but the problem is that I do so primarily by looking at pictures that look like THIS:

Ulysse Nardin Maxi Marine Diver Chronometer Mens’ Watch Automatic 18K Rose Gold Black Dial on Black Rubber Strap 266-33-3A/92

… And while watches like these looks fantastic, how does this picture, with the watch in its infinite white background, suggest how this watch might look on ME.

It is often the way with watches.  You can lust after them all you want, you can look at countless pictures, you can even see the way the watch looks on the wrists of others, but when it comes to the day when you walk in the jewelry store ready to meet your dream, you look at it and are forced to concede that it will never work.

Perhaps it is your forest of black arm hair, perhaps it’s your twiggy excuse for a wrist, or perhaps it is the clash of a fine watches with your awful sense of style.  Whatever the reason, it just does not work and you are forced to move on.

In MY particular pursuit of the perfect watch, however, I will share the story of how I accidentally stumbled upon THIS:

TAG Heuer Men’s Monaco Automatic Chronograph Watch #CW2111.FC6177

This is a Tag Heuer Monaco, and as a watch I have always known that they existed, but for some unknown reason, I had largely ignored them.  I don’t know what it was, but I just never liked square watches.  They just never seemed to show time symmetrically somehow…

The way I stumbled on it was entirely on accident as well…

Basically I was going through a mall waiting for my wife to do whatever it is she does at the mall, and just saw that at a jewelry store was having a going out of business sale.

Entering out of pure curiosity, that’s when I saw it!

It didn’t really catch my eye at first, and the way it was kind of tossed in with the other clearance watches didn’t give it much of a sense of aura, but when I slapped it on my wrist…

IT…

WAS…

MAGIC!!!

I really don’t know what to say, but when I put that watch on me it was like getting a B-12 shot right into my veins.  It was just a sensational blend, as though milk met coffee for the very first time.  I just couldn’t believe I could instantly fall in love with a watch the way I did with the Monaco.  The last I had a feeling like this was with a Hamilton, and I got it!

I can’t rationalize it either, no matter how hard I try.

It has no form of water resistance whatsoever, it has one of those stupid automatic chronographs which make it hard to time things longer than 1 minute, and it’s got the date as part of a sub-dial, which just causes confusion.

I don’t care!!!

All I know is that when I wore this watch, it was like two galaxies got together and started to mate.

It felt just right, and I suspect that when comes the day I can shop for such a goody again, it will be this.

It’s funny, but this is a question I have not addressed yet.

And why is that you may be asking?

Honestly… it’s because I don’t really care!

That’s right. The truth is that I really don’t care about so-called “beautiful watches.” Sure I may call a watch good-looking and whatever, but to me the “look” of a watch is not as important as its durability, legibility, functions, and overall usefulness in my everyday life and the lives of others.

I for one truly believe that beauty must be in the eye of the beholder. I would oftentimes hear my buddies describe their wives, girlfriends, cars, and other such things as “beautiful,” and while I may have doubts in my mind as to their choice of partner as well as their butt ugly cars, I get that I don’t have to find beauty in the same things they do and vice versa.

For example, if you were to ask me what the most beautiful watch in the world, I would probably say THIS:

Rolex Oyster Perpetual Explorer II Mens Watch 16570-WSO

You see for me, this is watch perfection. It has a fixed 24hour bezel so you don’t have to worry about having it accidentally turned, it has a clean and functional dial, and it has an 4th hour hand to keep track of a second time zone. On top of that it’s a tough-as-nails Rolex Oyster so you know it will last through almost anything you throw at it.

This durability, cleanness, and simple functionality is beauty in my mind. It’s got all the main points covered very well without being showy and ostentatious, and while I am aware that most non-watch enthusiasts may think that “plain” is overly generous word in describing this Rolex Explorer II, that’s cool with me because I think I know what they are getting at!

Let me explain…

There is a large majority of the population who appreciate this thing called “art.” It’s a fairly vague concept but basically amounts to someone looking at it and then having something in their mind saying “Sweet!”

It can also act as a way for imbeciles to appear sophisticated to girls, a way for rich jerks to one-up other rich jerks, and a very handy and useful way to cover up an otherwise boring white wall in your living room.

I don’t know, I guess you can say that I find a watch beautiful if they do their job so well that you never even notice. Something so pretty and delicate that you would be afraid to even swing your arms is just annoying. I would even say that I find a beautiful watch to be something that can go well with anything and can be worn everyday without fear of consequence.

But while I may be in a bit of a minority, I do understand that there are indeed genuine appreciators of watch beauty. They are people who take notice of beautifully finished movements, immaculate dials, complicated complications, and other fancy watch stuff, and based on that, if I were to say what watch company makes the most beautiful watches, I would say Ulysse Nardin.

Just for an example, look at THIS:

Ulysse Nardin Sonata Mens’ Alarm Watch Automatic 18K White Gold Grey Dial on Black Leather Strap 670-88/212

I have to admit, if I had the money, I would probably put this on every time before bed and just gaze at its beauty. Watch nuts just go gaga over Ulysee Nardin watches and it’s not hard to see why. This is just epically beautiful. I don’t know what to call all the fancy finishes, but the hands look as though they’ve come from a Picasso painting and the rest of it is quite nice to look at indeed!

Those rich folks who like to wear smoking jackets whilst swirling their brandy in their wingback chairs ought to enjoy this quite nicely. I can’t imagine being too comfortable wearing this watch out in public, but when in your home when you have a moment to yourself, you can just wear it and think to yourself that you have arrived!

In fact, I hereby declare this UN Sonata:

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WATCH IN THE WORLD!!!