The same goes with watches.  Forget beautiful leather-strapped watches and automatic diver’s.  In a situation where error is a luxury you can afford, they may be fine, but with the adventures I have lined up the just won’t do.

Lately I have been looking for something a little more serious.

And that led me to Suunto.  When it comes to serious tool watches (rather than watches that make you look like a tool), Suunto is the first place extreme adventurers go, and with my love of mountains and climbing, the choice was obvious… The Suunto Core!

Sunnto Core All Black Mens Watch CORE ALLBLK

This watch not 0nly tells you how high you are (no not in that way ) But it also tells you the air pressure, has a compass, and what else is that it also tells the… what was the called?  Oh yeah, the time!

What I love about this watch is that it also tells you how much daylight you have per any given region in the world.  A feature I never thought to be useful, but on a rock climbing trip last week would have been useful and prevented my friends and I from hiking several miles with only the glow of our cellphone back lights illuminating our path.

These watches are so hardcore that Suunto calls their watches Wrist-top Computers!  Huh?!?

Well if you remember, about a year or so ago a small Swiss watch company called Romain Jerome came out with the unusual wristwatch that DOESN”T tell the time, and that was a huge hit, completely out of left field, and if you were reading you would remember that I have praised this watch as a move of marketing genius.  A watch that misses the primary mark entirely.

Well I’m delighted to say that they have done it again!

Yes Omega has a watch WORN on the moon, but this watch actually has parts of the moon on it.

Ye s this is Romain Jerome’s “Moon” watch, and unlike any other watch bathed in gold and platinum, this watch has pieces of the moon on it, and here it is:

I have to say that on a marketing and branding level, it’s just brilliant, it’s like a car company that makes a car that doesn’t go anywhere.  It’s so fresh and so unexpected, and what’s more is that you can claim to have part of a celestial body on your wrist.

I love the angle this company is taking, and I hear that they’ll even have a watch with steel from the RMS Titanic.  That will be a very special watch indeed.

NEW RAYMOND WEIL RW SPORT MENS WATCH 8520-STR-05207

…and while that name does sound like a mouthful, I’m sorry to say that the watch is known by no other name, perhaps a model number, but what would you prefer to say?

If you don’t care about watches, and like the way this watch looks than get it, I’m not going to stop you, but my personal opinion is that if you want a watch that is truly special, this is as far from that as you can possibly get.

Someone once said that a rose by any other name isn’t something or other… I forget the expression, but my point is that for a truly great watch to be great it has to have a special name, like “Speedmaster,” “Submariner,” or, “Daytona,” to simply name a watch based on what characteristics it has is like naming my dog, “White-haired poop Machine Which Sometimes Has the Ability to Lick Its Own Butt “  It just shows that the watchmakers weren’t really caring, but that’s largely due to the fact the watch company isn’t anything really special.

You see while many watch companies, even the lesser known ones, have been around for more than 100 years, Raymond Weil has been around only since 1972, which means that even stains in my apartment are older than that.  What’s more is that this company bombards us with commercials and advertising, but it’s watches are really as mediocre as a 6 inches on a ruler. Raymond Weil watches are primarily mid-market graduation presents for students who did poorly in school.

Take this watch for example, just look at it, it’s a conflicting and ridiculous mess.  I’ll start with the bezel, it looks like it comes from an Omega Speedmaster and the bracelet looks like it comes from one of those wacky Zeniths.  It has sporty features like a good water resistance and a screw down crown, yet it has features you’d find on a jewelry watches such as a butterfly clasp and the big date.  The big date, furthermore, which are two number wheels showing the date, is split in half by the chronograph hand.  Whether or not it was done intentionally or not I’m not sure of, but it looks ugly, it looks stupid.

What’s more is that the numbers o nthe dial make no sense at all, it’s like the watchmaker ate some alphabet soup and sneezed.

So to sum up, I’d pass on this watch, get something else!

The most notable of the all of A. Lange & Sohne’s timepieces?

The Lange 1 of course:

A. Lange & Sohne – Lange 1 – 101.035 Gents Watch

Now my boss, who happens to be a man of more than adequate means, loves this watch, and he says that as soon as he can comforfortably afford it, he will get it, and kudos to him for doing so.  I, however, never really got this watch.  I’m not going to bore you with the history of the company, mostly because I don’t know what that history may be, but I’m just going to say, I don’t get it!

I don’t get why they cost so much, I don’t get why they are regarded so highly, and I think they are overpriced, overrated, and unnecessarily complicated.

For example, just look at the dial, you have the time on one subdial, the seconds on another, and a big date occupying the top-right of the dial.  Why?

Why are they in three separate areas, why can’t they be in ONE area?

The power reserve thingy, furthermore, looks like it is just lost in space.  I think it’s silly and watch design gone terribly wrong.  It’s function following form and that’s no good in a watch, at least not in my book.  It reminds me of those silly Japanese watches that tells time by having you count a bunch of silly dots.

You see a typical day a Patek Philippe would be a watchmaker looking out at the sky and saying, “hmm… I wonder what it would be like to make a watch that tracked how the sky looks like over Geneva at any given point,” and then he would go out and do it!  That is what makes Patek Philippe such an excellent watchmaker.  They think of the most ridiculous watchmaking challenges in the world and then go out and make them.

Has A. Lange &Sohne done such a thing?  Not that i can see…

I’m being somewhat unfair, you see watches in this category are about passion.  You don’t buy them with your head, you buy them with your heart, and if you love this German pig than why not go out and buy it?  I don’t like it, but if it floats our boat, than go out and buy the watch of your dreams.  Remember, you only live once!

So here’s one:

Zodiac Zo2244 Sea Dragon Ladies Watch

Yup it’s the, um…, it’s the Zodiac Sea Dragon.  It’s $150.00 give or take, and as a looker I think it looks alright.  The fact that its midsized means that a girl or boy can wear it, it’s a quartz and it’s got a date and a bezel, and what’s more is that this series of watches I’m told is literally INFUSED with a light vanilla scent.  So if the smell of rubber of leather makes you vomit, it’s nice to know you have a healthy alternative.

So if you are a woman and don’t care about the brand, the pathetic water resistance, and the fact that all Zodiac watch wearers are serial killers, than by all means buy it!

I, however, find this watch to be passionless junk, the Toyota Yaris of the watch world.  Kinda funky, but primarily designed to just get the job done.

That’s why I bought one of these:

Tissot PRC200 T-Sport Mens Watch T17.1.586.42

You see life is about living, and time is to precious to be measured on a basic watch.  Forget the Zodiacs, the Timex, and the Casio, get one of these!

When it comes to their own cars though, I couldn’t help but notice that their taste in watches seems to mirror their taste in cars.  Richard Hammond, for example, a small man mind you, tends to have a taste for large and flashy cars and watches.  The lovable weirdo and my personal favorite host James May, furthermore, seems to have a taste for watches and cars that he seems to find “interesting.”  What goes on in his mind I’ll never be able to figure out, but when it comes to tastes in watches and cars, I always leaned toward the big guy, Jeremy Clarkson.

You see Jeremy Clarkson may have money and fame, but underneath it all, he is a ape-like simpleton who wants a car to be a car, and a watch to be a watch.  He’s not a fan of excess and the more noise it makes, and the more it breaks down, the better.  He goes on these huge rants about the watches he’s going to buy, and in one of his latest posts he writes about his newest purchase, the Omega Railmaster, and here it is!

Omega Watches – RAILMASTER

Seen on last night’s episode of Top Gear I keep looking at it and think to myself, hmm…

You see if you know anything about this guy’s watch history you will know that he used to have James Bond’s Seamaster, he used to have a Planet Ocean (and still does I reckon), and now he has this.  He moans about how passionless Omega is yet he seems to be a fanboy at heart.

Nice choice Jeremy!

It’s weird how the few watches I own now all caught me by complete surprise, and this one is no exception.  This watch just kind of popped out a display case and when I put it on it was complete magic, and now that I’ve had it for a little over a month now, I can tell you exactly what I think of it.

T17168642 – Tissot

Well to start I didn’t get any ordinary Tissot PRC 200, I got the 2007 limited edition commemorating the 2007 Pan-American games (whatever they are).  The difference is that instead of having white hands, all of the chronograph hands are in a very vivid yellow that contrasts the blue dial nicely, and it has an engraving on the back which I’ve never really been bothered to look at.

To be honest with you though, I’ve never really liked chronographs and watches that are shiny general, but as I age into my late-20’s I’ve noticed that my tastes have been changing and that I really don’t mind.

Something that I don’t really mind either is the tachy-meter and what I love about this quartz chronograph is that it operates kind of like an automatic chronograph so you don’t ever really notice.  The seconds are the 6 o’clock subdial and the push button clasp is solid.  What I love more about this watch is that it’s not some over-sized over-shiny silly thing that are aimed toward men with confidence issues, it’s only 40mm so it sits on your wrist like any ordinary wristwatch:

T17168642 – Tissot

After a month I can say I’m absolutely in love with this watch.  It is the the most dramatic departure from my “normal” tastes in wristwatches, but I believe I have come into an age where I can wear a watch like this and wear it well.

EDGE DiskGo! USB Watch Drive – USB memory watch – 1 GB ( EDGDM-201340-PE )

…with one exception, can you guess what it is?

Besides the fact that the picture is a little blurry, I’m sure you will notice that there is indeed a wire sticking out of it.  Why is that?  It’s because this watch is not only a watch, but also a USB Flash Drive!!!

I don’t even know where to begin with this idea, but this has got to be one of the stupidest watches I’ve ever seen, and here’s why:

I get the appeal, it’s a watch that also doubles as a watch for those of whom supposedly need data wherever you go, but here’s a problem, while the watch can store up to 1GB of data, you still need a USB cable to extract it, and that cable tends to be larger than, I don’t know, a normal USB flash drive?!?  So what’s the point?

I don’t know why I bother to ask, becaseu I already know the point…

You see products like these are for idiots.  It’s for people that go about town in Segway scooters and like items that are two or three things in one.  They are for flat, uninteresting, talentless, and socially idiotic men who have no interesting characteristics or qualities and go about buying quirky gadgets in the hope that some curious girl will one day inquire about these silly items and become swept of her feet and the interesting gadgetry.

Well unless you are a James Bond sort of spy you need these kind of junk to sneak across the border or something, I suspect that whatever girl who inquires about your watch is going to get her answer and then go about her day while your own social inadeqacies are going to keep you a virgin for the rest of your life.

I hate these stupid gadget watches.  They are stupid!

The President of Italy wears watches that cost as much as a house.

And even the the modest President Clinton rolls around in a Panerai.

Now when I first mused about this a few weeks ago, the possibility that the President of the greatest nation in the world would roll around the greatest residence in the world with a gift shop trinket on his wrist was only a possibility, but now it is a definite reality, and I am pleased with the outcome.

Now I am not one to generalize especially with my sparse knowledge of anything remotely political, but it seems to be the trend of Presidents of late to try to relate to the common people more by wearing a cheap watch.  George W. Bush did it with his cheap Timex, and I heard that when President Clinton was in the White House he skimped on expensive watches for more basic ones.  Forget the hordes of Secret Service goons, private airplane, helicopters, and instant access to the hottest nightclubs, a President seems to think that if wears the same kind of watch as us ordinary people, then he can somehow relate to us.  Gimme a break!

Speaking of Secret Service goons, if you ever seen watch now President Barack Obama wears on his wrist and ever wondered, “what kind of watch is that?”  Well wonder no longer.

As a recent birthday present for President Obama, his Secret Service goons thought of the laziest present known to man.  They went to the Secret Service shop, bought a watch, gave it to him, and now it’s his daily wearer.

It was produced by the no name company of Jorg Gray, who basically sells cheap Chinese watches of which you can put a logo on and there you have it!

The End!

And in this conveniently placed “gift shop” they can buy tacky postcards to send to their relatives, so they know you are cool, in addition you can also purchase books which will never be read, and if you are lucky, you can even buy some freeze-dried ice cream which has the ability to instantly melt three dollars right out of your pocket.

At the upper echelons of these gifts though, you may notice there may be a small selection of watches.  Usually tucked away under the pristine protection of clear plastic, the logoed watches may look appealing as they sell for more than the usual junk they have there.

Now what can be cooler than having a watch with the logo of the National Air and Space Museum on your wrist? Well quite a lot of things quite honestly.

Back on topic though, I have literally been asked one question by a colleague of mine asking me what watch Barack Obama wears, and while I have known some time now, the answer has never really seemed to spark any kind of interest in me to discuss it, but here goes…

As a present for Mr. Obama on a recent birthday, his Secret Service goons went down to the Secret Service gift shop and thought of the laziest birthday present known to man.  They went down to the gift shop and got him a Secret Service logoed watch.  What’s most surprising though is that Barack Obama seems to wear it everyday!

Here it is with Joe Biden’s Omega Seamaster Professional in the distance:

And a close up:

Now the funny thing is that he traded a fairly respectable Tag Heuer for this.  Why?  Well I suppose it’s the same reason that he traded his massive gas guzzling Chrysler 300C for an economical Ford Escape Hybrid, he wants to practice what he preaches and so traded his Swiss timepiece for a American one, or so he thought.

Well I have done a little bit of digging on this one, but the watch is actually made in China like quite a lot of things in this country, and it actually starts off life as a Jorg Gray JGC6500 Chronograph like this one:

You may not have heard of Jorg Gray as a company, and there’s a good reason.  You see all they do is makes generic watches without logos on them so you can put your organization’s logos on them and thus disappoint your friends, family, etc. with your mail order junk.

So to conclude, like George Bush’s Timex, Barack Obama’s watch can be classified in a similar vein a being a piece of mail order junk.
The End!